Meridee’s Monday

2 CommentsJuly 19, 2010

Grace In The Wilderness

We’ve now been at Jennifer’s family farm in Missouri for almost a month. We are still not able to go home because we’re waiting on results from the specialist as to the extent and severity of the mold in our house. It’s been hard on our family and an unexpected stress for Jennifer’s parents. Jennifer’s sister, Jannell, has been here as well with her two kids (3yrs and 8 weeks) while her husband is out on a three-week tour with another artist. It’s ten people in a house built for five. Jennifer’s Mom takes it upon herself to cook huge unnecessary meals for everyone, which seems to keep her moving more than she needs to and Jennifer’s Dad is still battling health issues and all of this excitement seems to be extra taxing on his body.

Jennifer and I didn’t expect to be here nearly this long and we only have a couple of suitcases full of clothes for all four of us so we’ve been buying things we would normally have brought with us. We’re pooling our money for groceries and trying to respect each other’s privacy. There’s no Internet access at the house so I have to drive into town to do anything productive. Furthermore, since we are staying in St Louis we’ve had to fly to most of our concerts because they’ve been too far away to drive. Flying has made it harder to take the kids with us, which is something we have committed to do whenever it is at all possible. The emotional strain of leaving the kids is something that we’ve not been faced with since we returned to FFH, and it’s brought back lots of unwelcomed emotions from several years ago.

Hutch turns seven years old this Wednesday and he won’t have his usual “buddies” at his party. He may not have a party at all. In less than three weeks the boys in the neighborhood will go back to school and Hutch will have missed out on a lot of bike and scooter time with his friends at home. Sadie has been sleeping in a pack-and-play next to Hutch’s bed and they keep each other up at night and wake each other up in the mornings. Plus, we have the stupid dog to think about.

HOWEVER.

Because of our extended stay here the kids have had a chance to spend time with their Mimi and Pop Pop and their cousins that they wouldn’t have been able to if we’d been permitted to go home, and Jennifer and her sisters have been have had the chance to be together at their home for the first time in years. There’s a pool here so Hutch has become part fish and Sadie-Claire is now jumping into the water with floaties on and no one to catch her. Pop Pop still isn’t feeling completely healthy but he’s been well enough this summer to work with the kids in his shop building toy robots out of scrap metal and wood and piddling around with tools and such. This is something we’ve wanted for Hutch for a long time.

This morning just after breakfast Hutch asked me to go outside and throw Frisbee with him. Normally I’d already be heading out to write songs or on the computer working, but since there’s no Internet access at the farm and no co-writers within three hundred miles, I was physically and emotionally available to just play.

We’ve hated leaving the kids to go perform and miss them dearly when we’re gone, but the times away have given Jennifer and me chances to talk, and there’s much to discuss right now. We’ve really enjoyed the hours together and we’ve even seen a couple of movies while we are out. Our availability to audiences before and after concerts has been greater as well because we don’t have to hurry back to the hotel to put the kids to bed. This has been refreshing.

Back in May, when we were here for a visit, we helped to plant the garden. Vegetables are popping up like crazy now. Everyday buckets of fresh squash and tomatoes are brought in and we eat them for supper. Jennifer has always wanted to learn how to plant and cultivate a garden and this summer she’s getting hands-on experience. Meals are mayhem but we’re all eating most of them together, like families used to do it. We go through about forty paper plates everyday. Pop Pop takes them to a burn pile so his dumpster doesn’t overflow.

It’s a pain to go to McDonalds to work but I’m thankful to have a job where I can connect to people through the Internet. Our booking agency and publicist are in Nashville, our radio promoter is in OK City, our road manager is in Tulsa, and our band guys are traveling in other parts of the country when we are not together. We usually connect like this anyways and I’m realizing how blessed I am to have a job that doesn’t require an office. Plus, Brian Smith, my longest and closest friend lives down the street from me in Franklin and has been checking the mailbox and sending me the important stuff. It’s nice to have a friend you trust enough to go through your mail.

Another blessing about being “stuck” here… A friend of Jennifer’s is going to get Hutch and I some tickets to a Cardinal’s game at the new Busch Stadium. The Phillies are in town this week and it will be Hutch’s first Major League Game, perfect for his birthday. A few years ago Nashville decided they’d rather have an NHL Team than a MLB franchise so we don’t ever get to see baseball games. Plus, I think given the choice, Hutch would rather be here with his cousin Elias for his birthday than at home with his street buddies. Transformers and Iron Man action figures adjust to any environment so they will help make the party better.

Mimi and Pop Pop like the dog more than they’d admit. He’s allowed in the house, which is shocking to Jennifer who was never allowed to have indoor pets when she was a kid.

Jeremiah 31 speaks of God’s people who find Grace in the Wilderness. Another translation of the same verse says that they find Favor in the Desert. In Jeremiah 31:2, the words “Wilderness” and “Desert” come from the Hebrew word “Midbar”. Strong’s concordance explains that Midbar’s meaning denotes a “driving out”. Like sheep or cattle that are driven to pasture.

God is driving us all into some great wilderness. The unknown is uncertain, inconvenient, and at many times scary. But He who drives us is also with us, and where He is will be favor, grace and rest, even where we’d least expect it.

Jeromy Deibler (FFH)

Category: Posted Under: Meridee's Monday@2:53 pm

Merridee’s Monday

4 CommentsJuly 12, 2010

Oh how I wish I were sitting at the bakery this morning. I miss Merridee’s, and the smell of cinnamon rolls, and the people behind the counter who know my name. This is the third week in a row that I’m writing from McDonald’s in Hillsboro, MO. The smell of Egg McMuffins and Hash-Pucks is not nearly as inviting. We should get are first results from the extensive mold testing that was done in our house later on this week. Hopefully that will provide us with some insight into the severity of the mold in our house and give us some idea of when we might be able to go home.

The kids are having a great time at the farm and being able to stay here for these few weeks is a blessing, but it’s still a strain. We’ve put our lives on indefinite hold. All of our plans for this summer have been thwarted. We know that God is good and He knows the future and there’s a reason He didn’t stop this from happening. We know that this will ultimately work out for our best and God’s best and our family’s best. Nevertheless, we are a little depressed about the whole thing. It’s all quite unsettling, especially the waiting for results we have no control over.

Last night before bed Jennifer did a timeline of what our lives have been like since the fall of 2005. There’s been joy, hope, sorrow, suffering, birth, death, peace, and pain, and a move to Africa and back. Through it all we’ve only been permitted to see just a few feet in front of us on the path. God completely shut the blinds to the distant view. It’s been hard but good. And I know this time away from our home will prove to be the same. I just don’t get it right now. We seemed to be in such a good groove at home. I seem to so easily forget that this journey with Jesus is a path through the wilderness and a good groove isn’t always best. Jennifer and I pray for God to take our family on an adventure. We ask him to not let us get stuck in “normal”. We have to believe this is part of the answer.

Hope your week is an adventure too –
Peace and rest,
Jeromy

Jeromy Deibler

Category: Posted Under: Life, Meridee's Monday, Reflection@11:15 am

Meridees Monday

CommentMarch 22, 2010

Merridee’s is slow this morning. Must be the weather. After a week of spring warmth we’re back to clouds and cold, at least for a day or so. I reluctantly put the top back on my Jeep this morning but let the windows off in case the weatherman was wrong. I just had some coffee with an old friend that I go to church with. It’s hard to believe that I’m old enough to say “old friend”. Cameron, my brother-in-law, is with me this morning. He and Shantel, Jennifer’s sister, and their three kids are in town from St Louis to attend the birth of our newest nephew. Jannell, Jennifer’s other sister, the pregnant one, is scheduled for a c-section tomorrow afternoon (Tuesday). Cameron has brought his PC into an entirely MAC environment and has thrown off the entire ecosystem of Merridee’s. Fortunately there is another guy sitting between us and nobody can tell Cameron is with me. I offered to let him put an Apple sticker on his laptop this morning so he wouldn’t draw attention to himself but he refused.

This morning I read about rest in my prayer book. It was good and I was going to write to you about it. Then I found this poem and thought it said things better than anything I could say. I put my little diddy after the poem if you still feel like reading it.

LIGHTENING THE LOAD

The first thing we have to do
is to notice  that we’ve loaded down this camel 
with so much baggage 
we’ll never get through the desert alive. 
Something has to go.

Then we can begin to dump
the thousand things 
we’ve brought along 
until even the camel has to go 
and we’re walking barefoot 
on the desert sand.

There’s no telling what will happen then. 
But I’ve heard that someone, 
walking in this way, 
has seen a burning bush.

– Francis Dorff, O. Praem.

The scripture for the day was from James 1, the verse about sin being conceived and then growing up into death. My busyness outside of God’s plan, and ignoring Sabbath principles, may be conceived in what seems like innocence, and may even be admired as a strong work ethic. But, if it is born out of vanity and selfish motives, and this work “succeeds”, eventually it grows up to be bigger than life, spinning out of control, consuming me. And when it is fully-grown, and I have given myself over to this pattern of work and I can’t escape it, something in me dies.

On that note-
Rest and blessings,
Jeromy

Jeromy Deibler

Category: Posted Under: Jeromy, Meridee's Monday@12:50 pm

Meridee’s Monday

7 CommentsMarch 1, 2010

Good Morning, I hope this finds you well. I’m on my way to Merridee’s but decided to stop at the car wash to have Jennifer’s car cleaned. We have so many bikes and toys and pieces of gear in our garage that the car won’t fit so it sits outside in the elements all winter ruining the paint. My kids think the inside is a trashcan so the interior is a mess as well. I’d normally clean it myself but this seemed like a job for professionals. I actually enjoy washing cars. It makes me feel like a teenager again. I used to work as a lot-boy at my Dad’s car dealership when I was a kid. It was my first and last real job. I would catch a ride with him to work in the morning and spend all day in the sun washing and polishing the new cars and listening to music on my Walkman. With my first paycheck I asked Dad to take me to Service Merchandise to buy a $50 Sony headset radio, the model with the radio built right into the headphones. I spent seven hours a day listening to the best mix of 90s music getting a suntan. After work I’d jump in the pool to get clean and refreshed. I didn’t shower much in the summer. I always felt like the chlorine was enough to bleach away anything I’d picked up. Jennifer makes the kids shower after a long swim to get the chlorine off of their bodies. I will never understand this line of thinking. Last spring I installed a “shower” on our back patio so we could just rinse off in our bathing suits before we went inside. Jennifer doesn’t like when I call it a shower because it’s really a garden hose that’s run around the house, under the garage door, and connected to the hot water in the garage sink. On the shower end is a hose extender (the one you use to water hanging plants) that’s bracketed to the rain gutter. It works though, and it’s lovely on a cool night under the stars. I’m sure the neighbors think so.

I had a meeting about you this week. It was with Brody and Randy, the guys that take care of our Internet sites. As usual it was an education. As I’ve mentioned before, Jennifer and I picked the worst possible time to move to Africa as far as technology is concerned. While we were away (Fall 2006- Spring 2007) things moved on right past us and we had to come home and relearn how people connect. We’re getting there but still need help. Turns out that my Mom isn’t the only one who reads these posts. Brody says that I should send him everything that I’ve been writing – record reviews, songs, devotionals, stuff about the kids, anything – and he will post it. Merridee’s Mondays will still be my official weekly blog, but there will be stuff coming mid-week as well. Here’s the deal though… For this to work we need to be able to communicate. So send me your thoughts and comments and I’ll write you back. And, as I promised before, I won’t use this as a forum for personal gain, trying to sell you stuff.

So here’s how this will work for the time being. Merridee’s Mondays (written from my favorite bakery in Franklin) will be my normal Monday blog. “Hey Mom” posts will be stuff during the week that I’d normally tell Mom that you might like to know as well; stuff about the kids and our friends, etc. Everything else will come as a special report. I still haven’t figured out a clever name for them yet.

Talk soon-
Jeromy

Jeromy Deibler

Category: Posted Under: Blogging, Car Wash, Communicating, Meridee's Monday@1:00 pm

Meridee’s Monday

CommentFebruary 15, 2010

I woke up this morning to yet another blanket of white covering the neighborhood. Frankin was quiet as I traveled into town to sit at the bakery, which is uncharacteristicly empty today. I got to drive my Jeep here in four-wheel-drive and that makes me feel like a superhero. This winter has delivered the most snow I’ve seen in Franklin since Jennifer and I moved here sixteen years ago. I love it but Jennifer is miserable and Hutch is bored. I wish I was in Pennsylvania where my family is digging out from almost four feet of fresh powder. Last week my Mom sent me photographs of what used to be our back deck. It’s now dissappeared under soft dunes of white.

Fortunately the snow didn’t start until yesterday and our babysitter was able to get to the house on Saturday so Jennifer and I could go away for our Valentine’s Day “trip”. We traveled to a hotel in Cool Springs, about seven miles from our house in Franklin, for our getaway. We arrived and checked-in at three, watched a movie on tv, then went to dinner and out to another movie. We ate mostly chocolate and cheesecake and fell asleep reading books and magazines. In the morning we slept until nine and stayed in bed until eleven-fifteen then drove back home. It was no-pressure and that was special. I love my kids enough to die for them, but I need to be away from them at times. Jennifer said last night that we can actually “see” eachother when we’re alone together.

It occurred to me as Hutch and I showered this morning that I feel a little refreshed today, even after just a short time away. I realized that a“getaway” doesn’t have to be far away and for a long time. It can be just a night in town, or a movie, or a walk in the woods. I woke today more inspired and was even more patient with Hutch as he covered the shower with shaving cream, and he was more patient with me when I told him he had to clean his room and get dressed before he played Wii.

Everything is better after rest.

Have a peaceful week,
Jeromy

Jeromy Deibler

Category: Posted Under: Meridee's Monday, Refreshed, Valentines Day@11:42 am

Meridee’s Monday

CommentFebruary 8, 2010

So much noise, so much talking everywhere. It’s tiring. So many emails to read, voicemails to return, blogs to follow. So much chatter, so little dead air. None of us like it, at least not all the time, but all of us do it. Quiet is so foreign now that we’ve given it names like “awkward silence” or “pregnant pause”. There are twenty-six people in the coffee shop this morning and all but two of them are talking, either to someone present or on the other end of the phone.

Jennifer and I alternate bedtimes with Hutch and Sadie-Claire. On nights when she’s with Sadie I’m with Hutch, and on those nights Hutch and I have begun a routine that both of us love. After we talk about the day and sing our blessing, I ask Hutch if he wants me to stay and hold him while he falls asleep. It’s a sweet time of quiet, but we are communicating none the less. I’ve realized in those moments that conversation doesn’t require speaking. Our togetherness in the quiet reminds him that I am present and I am strong. As I scratch his back I’m telling him that I love him and want him to relax and be comfortable.

I realize this morning that I’ve never thought about communication like this before and as I let my mind wonder I recognize how just how much I say without words. My eyes tell my story best. They communicate my sorrow or anger or dishonesty. (Jennifer can tell me whole stories with her eyes). And my face and body follows suit. The way I stand, the way I walk, and the way I dress tells others something specific and important about myself. Today they say I’m tired from a long day yesterday and eating way too much last night and that I really didn’t care how I looked when I chose my cloths for the day.

The Bible says something about Jesus being able to look into another person’s eyes and see their heart. I think He wants me to learn this art as well; to be able to hear and speak without words. Like Jeremiah Johnson and the Indian girl he met in the wilderness. I think it would make life more interesting and colorful. And I would take some of the pressure off, the pressure to say the right thing.

Jeromy Deibler (FFH)

Category: Posted Under: Communication, Connection, Meridee's Monday@2:28 pm

Meridee’s Monday

CommentFebruary 1, 2010

Hutch is at the bakery with me this morning. School was canceled again today because of the snow and he’s literally bored to tears. We took a walk through the woods yesterday but that wasn’t nearly enough stimulation. I make fun of southerners and their overreaction to winter weather but this time the snow is pretty legitimat, and it’s stuck around for a while. I’ve been told that Williamson County (where we live) has got one (1) snow plow which is why all but the interstate remains covered with snow and ice. I have a Jeep so we’re getting around ok. The Jeep makes me feel powerful, like a superhero.

On Saturday, the morning after the storm, we went out for breakfast and tried to find a sled, but all the stores have already stopped stocking them, so we headed over to the Ingrim’s for a visit. Jason and Culley are in our community group and their daughters are the same age as our kids. They live on a seven-acre hill in Franklin and have a great sledding slope. They’d been literally snowed-in and were glad for the company. Their sledding hill began from their front door and they had a sled to we gave it a go. The thin layer of ice made for a perfect surface and in about 20 seconds you could be at the bottom of the hill. Jennifer watched me take the hill and couldn’t resist. She jumped on head-first and pushed off. We watched as she got smaller and smaller and wrecked legs over head at the end of the run. What we couldn’t see from the top of the hill was that, in her attempt to stop the sled before sliding into the sewer drain, Jennifer pushed down on the front of the sled breaking through the quarter-inch layer of ice she was sliding on. When she did the sled stopped but her face didn’t. All of her forward momentum was directed into the ice, her forehead leading the way. From the front porch it appeared that Jennifer popped up unfazed, but as she made her way up the hill it became clear that something bad had happened in the wreck. When Jennifer was about 100 feet from the house we could see blood and the closer she got the worse the carnage became. The ice had carved a curved line in Jennifer’s face from the center of her forehead to just below her left cheekbone and the sharp little shards of ice that implanted themselves into her skin were melting into little red spots. Her eye was already beginning to show a bruise. Our first reaction was surprise, then Jason said “Quick, get the camera.” He wanted to be sure to document the event. Cully took Jennifer inside and cleaned her up a little and we decided we should all quit while we were still alive.

Jennifer is recovering well. She’s still beautiful even with a bruised face.

Stay warm,
Jeromy

Jeromy Deibler (FFH)

Category: Posted Under: Jeromy, Meridee's Monday@11:35 am

Meridee’s (Midway) Monday

2 CommentsJanuary 19, 2010

I would normally be at Merridee’s this morning but instead I’m at Midway Airport in Chicago, standing at gate B1, smelling the popcorn popping from across the building. We’ve been here this weekend for show. No pre-boarding today, the kids stayed in Franklin with family this weekend so we have to line up with the rest of the cattle. This was the first time Jennifer and I have gone away to play shows without them in over a year. When we returned home from Africa in 2007 we decided that, if and when we ever returned to turing, we’d make every effort to bring them with us and we have, until now. The kids’ cousin Elias was in town this weekend so we knew they’d much rather be home playing Wii than on another airplane so we decided to let them stay. Jennifer is in the terminal toy store buying gifts for them, probably partly out of guilt because we miss them and also because this was a really nice break for us to be alone together.

In downtown Chicagao today the fog covered all the tops of towering buildings making them seem all the same height. Brian (our drummer and Jennifer’s sister’s husband) was in the backseat of the van taking a sales call about one of the cars he has in inventory, and as I drove through the city center I thought about how, even with the suffering in Haiti, everyone in Chicago still has to go to work. We all watch as networks broadcast the unimaginable scenes of devestation; orphans sleeping in the streets, people fighting over food, and yet we have to go on with life up here, life as normal. But everything that is usual for us seems so pointlees with the knowledge of such suffering happening simultanously. We do our best to help while we go through our normal motions, from celeberties organizing telethons, to $10 text donations, to church bake sales, but we can only do so much. After that all we can do is pray and remember. Remembering is important though. I think it’s written into the fabric of our beings. It’s why we remember Dr King, or the sufferings of the Holacost, Pearl Harbor, or the 9/11 attacks. It’s not just a wistful thought. It’s an acknowledgement that something happened then that effects us now, even at a distance, and will continue to effect the course of history.

One of the most striking interviews that I’ve watched during the Haiti coverage was with their President. Like most of the city’s buildings, his palace had collapsed and was unlivable. He said that he was trying to figure out, among other things, where he would sleep that night. In an instant he was like everyone else in the city… displaced, homeless, uncertain. Like the fog made everything the same height this morning, suffering levels the playing field. And as we pray for the Hatians and remember there need we are reminded that we are all small, all human, and all vonerable. And that gives birth to compassion and compassion give birth to action.

Jeromy Deibler (FFH)

Category: Posted Under: Martin Luther King Jr., Meridee's Monday, Travel@11:50 am

Meridee’s Mondays

1 CommentDecember 21, 2009

Good morning from Franklin TN. I brought Hutch with me this morning, he’s sitting beside me inhaling a cinnamon roll. He’s been up with me since 6:00am and I didn’t have the heart to leave and go to his favorite breakfast spot without him so he’s going to do his schoolwork and a puzzle while I write my blog. I woke up this morning at 5:30am to use the bathroom and decided to just stay up and try to have some quiet time with God. A few minutes later Hutch was in the room so we made a nativity scene out of clay. It’s a cold rainy day. 7 degrees colder and this rain would be snow. Oh how I wish it was. Few things are worse than 39 degrees and rainy. Merridee’s is warm though, and the pretty lights and woven reindeer make things better.

We played our last concert of the year this past Wednesday. It was a private event in Georgetown Deleware. My Mom came down from Lancaster (PA) to visit and keep the kids while Jennifer and I played the show. We won’t be seeing my family over the holidays so it was a nice chance for her to give the kids their gifts. We called it Grammy Christmas and brought a little tree to the hotel room and put a couple of ornaments that Jennifer helped the kids make on it. On Tuesday night (Christmas Eve) we ordered pizza in the lobby and the kids opened a couple of gifts. Hutch got a remote control car that he spent the rest of the night running up and down the hallway of the hotel. Then, in the morning we had Christmas. It was a nice memory and we joked about having Christmas in Delaware every year.

It occurred to me this week how different our celebration of Jesus’ birth is from the actual event itself. We go to such great lengths and make so much noise making it special. Lights, sound and food are the traditions. But Jesus was born into silence. It was dark, and quiet, and as far as we know, almost completely anonymous. I don’t think how we do it is wrong but it wouldn’t hurt to be quiet sometime this Christmas. Let us try to put ourselves at the manger scene to see and feel and smell how the Kingdom came on Earth.

Jennifer, Hutch, Sadie-Claire, and I wish you and your closest the warmest peace of the long expected Jesus this Christmas. Be at rest in the Savior’s hope.

Jeromy Deibler

Category: Posted Under: Christmas, Journal, Meridee's Monday@12:35 pm