Grace In The Wilderness

We’ve now been at Jennifer’s family farm in Missouri for almost a month. We are still not able to go home because we’re waiting on results from the specialist as to the extent and severity of the mold in our house. It’s been hard on our family and an unexpected stress for Jennifer’s parents. Jennifer’s sister, Jannell, has been here as well with her two kids (3yrs and 8 weeks) while her husband is out on a three-week tour with another artist. It’s ten people in a house built for five. Jennifer’s Mom takes it upon herself to cook huge unnecessary meals for everyone, which seems to keep her moving more than she needs to and Jennifer’s Dad is still battling health issues and all of this excitement seems to be extra taxing on his body.

Jennifer and I didn’t expect to be here nearly this long and we only have a couple of suitcases full of clothes for all four of us so we’ve been buying things we would normally have brought with us. We’re pooling our money for groceries and trying to respect each other’s privacy. There’s no Internet access at the house so I have to drive into town to do anything productive. Furthermore, since we are staying in St Louis we’ve had to fly to most of our concerts because they’ve been too far away to drive. Flying has made it harder to take the kids with us, which is something we have committed to do whenever it is at all possible. The emotional strain of leaving the kids is something that we’ve not been faced with since we returned to FFH, and it’s brought back lots of unwelcomed emotions from several years ago.

Hutch turns seven years old this Wednesday and he won’t have his usual “buddies” at his party. He may not have a party at all. In less than three weeks the boys in the neighborhood will go back to school and Hutch will have missed out on a lot of bike and scooter time with his friends at home. Sadie has been sleeping in a pack-and-play next to Hutch’s bed and they keep each other up at night and wake each other up in the mornings. Plus, we have the stupid dog to think about.

HOWEVER.

Because of our extended stay here the kids have had a chance to spend time with their Mimi and Pop Pop and their cousins that they wouldn’t have been able to if we’d been permitted to go home, and Jennifer and her sisters have been have had the chance to be together at their home for the first time in years. There’s a pool here so Hutch has become part fish and Sadie-Claire is now jumping into the water with floaties on and no one to catch her. Pop Pop still isn’t feeling completely healthy but he’s been well enough this summer to work with the kids in his shop building toy robots out of scrap metal and wood and piddling around with tools and such. This is something we’ve wanted for Hutch for a long time.

This morning just after breakfast Hutch asked me to go outside and throw Frisbee with him. Normally I’d already be heading out to write songs or on the computer working, but since there’s no Internet access at the farm and no co-writers within three hundred miles, I was physically and emotionally available to just play.

We’ve hated leaving the kids to go perform and miss them dearly when we’re gone, but the times away have given Jennifer and me chances to talk, and there’s much to discuss right now. We’ve really enjoyed the hours together and we’ve even seen a couple of movies while we are out. Our availability to audiences before and after concerts has been greater as well because we don’t have to hurry back to the hotel to put the kids to bed. This has been refreshing.

Back in May, when we were here for a visit, we helped to plant the garden. Vegetables are popping up like crazy now. Everyday buckets of fresh squash and tomatoes are brought in and we eat them for supper. Jennifer has always wanted to learn how to plant and cultivate a garden and this summer she’s getting hands-on experience. Meals are mayhem but we’re all eating most of them together, like families used to do it. We go through about forty paper plates everyday. Pop Pop takes them to a burn pile so his dumpster doesn’t overflow.

It’s a pain to go to McDonalds to work but I’m thankful to have a job where I can connect to people through the Internet. Our booking agency and publicist are in Nashville, our radio promoter is in OK City, our road manager is in Tulsa, and our band guys are traveling in other parts of the country when we are not together. We usually connect like this anyways and I’m realizing how blessed I am to have a job that doesn’t require an office. Plus, Brian Smith, my longest and closest friend lives down the street from me in Franklin and has been checking the mailbox and sending me the important stuff. It’s nice to have a friend you trust enough to go through your mail.

Another blessing about being “stuck” here… A friend of Jennifer’s is going to get Hutch and I some tickets to a Cardinal’s game at the new Busch Stadium. The Phillies are in town this week and it will be Hutch’s first Major League Game, perfect for his birthday. A few years ago Nashville decided they’d rather have an NHL Team than a MLB franchise so we don’t ever get to see baseball games. Plus, I think given the choice, Hutch would rather be here with his cousin Elias for his birthday than at home with his street buddies. Transformers and Iron Man action figures adjust to any environment so they will help make the party better.

Mimi and Pop Pop like the dog more than they’d admit. He’s allowed in the house, which is shocking to Jennifer who was never allowed to have indoor pets when she was a kid.

Jeremiah 31 speaks of God’s people who find Grace in the Wilderness. Another translation of the same verse says that they find Favor in the Desert. In Jeremiah 31:2, the words “Wilderness” and “Desert” come from the Hebrew word “Midbar”. Strong’s concordance explains that Midbar’s meaning denotes a “driving out”. Like sheep or cattle that are driven to pasture.

God is driving us all into some great wilderness. The unknown is uncertain, inconvenient, and at many times scary. But He who drives us is also with us, and where He is will be favor, grace and rest, even where we’d least expect it.